Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Spider man

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob by  Cyriaque Lamar

Spider-Man's probably the most anxiety-prone superhero out there, so it's no surprise he's embarked on some endeavors that left readers questioning his emotional well-being. Here are ten times the hero's adventures (and mental health) flew off the rails in wonderfully weird ways.

10. Spider-Man records an album of Elton Johnesque pop music

If you thought Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark was Spider-Man's musical pinnacle, then you've never heard this Marvel-sanctioned, 1975 rock opera dedicated to the hero.

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob

The album artwork was also a thing of great beauty. Who knew Thor loved jazz? You can listen to most of this album here.

Of course, I still prefer the 1979 German disco track "Spiderman" sung by a fellow who had the retroactive misfortune of being named Peter Griffin.

9. Spider-Man gets a Spider-Buggy
For an extremely brief period in his history, Spider-Man experimented with his own carthat was gifted to him by an auto company. To the superhero's credit, he was incredibly dubious of this "Spider-Mobile" in the first place. On the other hand, he did have the poor taste to ride it around town.

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob8. Spider-Man gets caught up in some metaphysical pablum, evolves gross webshooters
Several years ago, Marvel Comics attempted to give Spider-Man organic web-shooters like the ones he wielded in Sam Raimi's cinematic trilogy. To do so, the publisher forced him into hippity-dippity, mystical circumstances — too complex to elaborate here — in which he evolved these new, synergistic features. And here you thought this superhero was grounded in that staple of hard science fiction, the radioactive spider bite.

7. Spider-Man murders people in Turkey
In the bootleg Turkish crime drama 3 Dev Adam, Spider-Man is a eyebrow-sporting crime lord who executes his enemies with hungry rats and boat propellers who dukes it out with his arch-nemesis Captain America. You may think it's not canon, but Marvel hasn't issued any statements recently noting otherwise. For another time Spider-Man went bonkers overseas, see the time he killed a WWF wrestler with Superman and Batman in India.

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob6. Spider-Man yells about his radioactive sperm
In 2007's dystopian, Dark Knight Returns-style miniseries Spider-Man: Reign, we learn that Mary Jane has died because Peter's radioactive Spider-sperm gave her cancer. During a certain jaw-dropping juncture of this alternate reality tale, Peter screams at Mary Jane's corpse (which has been disinterred by Doctor Octopus) about how is love gun shot to kill. Why he's never used this superpower against his foes since then is beyond me.

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob5. Spider-Man gets rid of an all-powerful magical artifact by tossing it in the ocean
During the 1980s, Marvel Comics superheroes crossed over with characters from Robert E. Howard's Hyborian Age. This resulted in such edifying storylines as Conan the Barbarian moonlighting as a pimp and Spider-Man teaming up with Red Sonja to defeat the warlock Kulan Gath. After trapping the wizard in an amulet, Spidey tosses him off the coast of Staten Island andpromptly forgets about him...

Until a fisherman discovers the necklace and frees Kulan Gath. The wizard transformsalmost everyone in Manhattan into barbarians. Except for Spider-Man, of course. Kulan Gath tortures the living crap out of him.
4. Spider-Man meets his god, Stan Lee
In the final episode of the 1990s Spider-Mancartoon, a trans-dimensional militia of Spider-Men must prevent Carnage from ending all reality. After defeating the villain, Spidey is whisked away to our reality, where he learns that he's actually the mental fabrication of an excelsior universal clockmaker, Stan "The Man" Lee. (I'm assuming Spider-Man co-creator Steve Ditko hung up the phone on this.) Upon communing with his mustachioed godhead, Spider-Man is not distraught over the realization that he's fictional, a corporate icon, or that he could've been named "Greg Gunderson, the Arachnid Ace" if Stan was feeling a twinge more alliterative in 1962. No, his self-esteem is through the roof! Poor guy's in shock.

3. Spider-Man becomes possessed by an evil alien, learns to jazz dance
Many readers consider this sequence the nadir of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man film trilogy. I sort of love the implications of this moment when you spell it out in plain language. That is, "An alien symbiote crash-lands on Earth and uses its malevolent power to cloud Peter Parker's mind. It also imparts a penchant for swing dancing." Did aliens teach humans to swing dance, like some Lindy-Hopping Engineers from Prometheus? That would explain the late 1990s rather easily.

2. Spider-Man Mad Libs

As if having professional comic book writers foist indignity upon indignity upon Peter Parker was bad enough, these fantastic 1981 Spider-Man Mad Libs (courtesy of Mark Anderson) allowed laymen like you and me to blindly dictate the terms of Peter Parker's mopey existence. Look what I just did to Spider-Man's laundry. How deliciously absurd!

1. Spidey Super Stories
This series of comic books was written as a spin-off of the webslinger's appearances onThe Electric Company in the 1970s. Because these tales were written for a younger audience, Spider-Man's adventures were told at an elementary-school reading level, which grammatically streamlined reality in myriad, hilarious ways. For example, see Doctor Doom's plot to take over the world with a magic trumpet, Spider-Man's misadventures with cycling...

...his calculated abuse of seafood merchants...

...the wall-crawler's musings on paleontology...
10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob...or this incredible sequence, in which Spider-Man, Marvel Boy, and Moon Dragon concoct a plan to destroy Doctor Doom's personal Death Star.
10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob
For more Spider-Strangeness, see these erotic moments in his storied historythe time the Green Goblin knocked up Peter's girlfriend(among many things), and the following ten public service announcements, the most notable of which revealed that Spider-Man was inappropriately touched by an older boy. And for Spider-Man at his coolest, see the soundtrack to the 1960s cartoon show.

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A NutjobBONUS: Spider-Man's tighty-whitey 
nightmares about Kraven The Hunter. [via]

10 Memorable Occasions Spider-Man Acted Like A Nutjob

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Top Stories

Glamour shots of carnival “freaks” of the 1800s were oddly touching

by  Cyriaque Lamar

Glamour shots of carnival

Throughout his career, Charles Eisenmann photographed thousands of sideshow performers seeking portraits for their résumés to send to carnival and circus publicists. These pictures oscillate between amusing ("the educated horse!") and bittersweet (there's something terrifically morbid about a man marketing his massively distended colon). But when you had a bad case of hypertrichosis (like Jojo The Dog-Faced Boy) or Milroy's disease (like giant-footed Fanny Mills, above), career options weren't legion.
Eisenmann began shooting sideshow performers in New York City prior to 1870. Explains Syracuse University of his practice:

A lower class area that was the hub of popular entertainment, the Bowery was known for its cheap photographic galleries and dime museums. Here Eisenmann discovered his clientele. Dime museums were modeled on P.T. Barnum's American Museum on Broadway which exhibited various human "curiosities" as well as many unusual and questionable "scientific" exhibits. Similar in many respects to the circus sideshows, these museums featured human "freaks" who displayed their odd physiognomies and performed before gawking visitors. To help these performers market themselves, Eisenmann and his successor Frank Wendt supplied them with small photographs that they could sell or distribute to publicists.
You can see hundreds more of Eisenmann's sideshow photographs at Syracuse University Library's Ronald G. Becker Collection. Here's a selection of his promotional photos.

Jo Jo, The Dog-Faced Boy.

"Human skeleton" I.W. Sprague with his wife and children.

Lionel, The Lion-Faced Boy.

A 26-month-old "hairy baby."

Prince Randion. (Legless and armless)

Anne Leek, the armless lady.

Glamour shots of carnival "freaks" of the 1800s were oddly touchingFour-legged Myrtle Corbin, who bore two children from her first vagina and three from her second.
And finally, "a lady with five alligators."